Those darn closers always say the craziest things. During a post-game interview, San Diego Padres closer Heath Bell, upon hearing that Cameron Maybin, the hero of the Padres’ Opening Day 11th-inning victory over the St. Louis Cardinals, had cramps, twisted the diagnosis into something a little more seemly – crabs. Maybin, who joined the Padres in the off-season, hit the game-tying home run with two outs in the ninth and then, with a single moved the go-ahead run to third in the 11th.  When he came up limping, he was lifted for a pinch runner. I’m sensing that Heath has been watching all the love fellow NL West and San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson has been getting and now wants a piece of the action. Well, Heath, you’re on your way! (Don’t miss the end when Bell offers to “go to pick ’em off.”)