Did the dog eat his paper when he was in school? After four spring starts and one relief appearance with the Chicago Cubs, Matt Garza is a dismal 0-3 with a 9.88 ERA and hasn’t made it past four innings. His latest flop was Saturday against the San Diego Padres, when he lasted only three innings after allowing a trifecta: three runs on three hits and three walks. The Chicago Tribune reports his excuse was the “slippery slope” one, the slant of the Peoria Complex mound making it impossible for him to find a good landing spot and thus causing his left hamstring to tighten up. “It was a bad slope,” Garza said. “From the bullpen, I was fine. When I took it out to the game, I had to adjust my landing so many different times because as I got to my normal landing spot, it was a drop off. I could never get to my landing. I was always over-extending.” After leaving, he threw 20 more pitches in the bullpen without any problem. Interestingly, it should be noted that this was the same mound where, five days ago, Garza limited the Seattle Mariners to one run in four innings. And the same one where Padres’ starter Aaron Harang held Garza’s teammates scoreless for 5 1/3 innings Saturday. MmmHmm.